


What the [platypus noise]?!

by blue_skyes



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: F/M, Gen, Meeting the Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25557694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_skyes/pseuds/blue_skyes
Summary: Ferb takes Vanessa to meet his parents. Vanessa is nervous as it is, but she never expected to also meet someone she already knew for years. (T rating for sexual insinuation at most)
Relationships: Vanessa Doofenshmirtz/Ferb Fletcher
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	What the [platypus noise]?!

**Author's Note:**

> So seeing all these things made me wonder what it would have been like if Vanessa found out that Ferb's Perry was also her dad's Perry. Enjoy!!

2308 Maple drive. A car was parked outside the house there, one of its passengers hesitant to exit the car.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz turned to her boyfriend, Ferb Fletcher, as he grabbed her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Are you sure about this Ferb? What if they don’t like me?”

Ferb knew exactly what she meant. It didn’t take long for him to find out that her father was an evil scientist, trying (and failing) every day to take over the tri state area. He also knew that she wasn’t exactly the best of girls herself.

“Oh nonsense. I’m sure they’ll love you. And if they don’t, which is highly unlikely, it doesn’t matter. Because I love you, and that’s what really matters, isn’t it?”

Vanessa’s expression softened and she smiled, knowing that Ferb, a man of few words, was telling the truth. In the end he loved her, and she loved him, and that’s all that mattered. “Alright then, let’s go!”

Ferb led Vanessa towards the house, and tried his best not to wince as her grip on his hand tightened the closer they got. He rang the doorbell and it wasn’t long until the door opened, revealing a smiling Linda and Lawrence. “Oh look at you two!” Linda exclaimed.

“Ferb my boy! Good to see you! And this must be the lovely Vanessa you’ve told us so much about!” Vanessa blushed at Lawrence’s comment, as Ferb nodded. She knew Ferb wasn’t much of a talker, but the fact that he used what few words he had on her, made her heart flutter.

“Hurry, come in before you catch a cold!” Linda ushered the two in. It was cold outside for an October evening, but Vanessa tried to hide her confusion, as this wasn’t her own mother’s style. “Make yourselves comfortable, dinner should be ready soon!” A smile beaming from Linda’s lips as she headed back to the kitchen.

“So, how about a tour of the house eh?” Lawrence suggested.

“Uh sure!” Vanessa smiled, as Ferb nodded.

The two men showed Vanessa around the home, the living room, the kitchen, and were about to head upstairs when Lawrence paused for a moment, pondering. “Wait a second.. where’s-“ He was cut off however, by a sound that seemed familiar to Vanessa, though she couldn’t place how.

Suddenly, into the room shuffled a teal platypus, each eye looking in a different direction, tail plapping as he walked. “Perry!” Ferb shouted, running to pick him up and give him a hug. “Oh how I’ve missed you...”

He stood there a while, enjoying the moment, before bringing him over to Vanessa. “Nessa, there’s someone I want you to meet. This is mine and Phineas’ pet, Perry the Platypus.”

It took a moment but it finally clicked. She had to work hard to keep her jaw from dropping but she couldn’t believe it. Was this really what her dad’s nemesis did when not foiling his evil schemes? A house pet? And for her boyfriend no less! “He’s uh.. he’s really cute!” Vanessa forced her best smile out, and moved to pet him.

“Perry, meet my girlfriend, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz.” Unbeknownst to Ferb, the introduction on Perry’s end wasn’t necessary, as Perry could recognize his nemesis’ daughter in a heartbeat. He instinctively moved back as she reached to pet him, and tried and failed to hide a flash of an actual expression on his face before returning back to normal; with Vanessa responding with a smirk and a wink as she saw it.

Before the interaction could continue however, Linda emerged from the kitchen, calling them all to go eat. “See you soon Perry.” Ferb smiled, setting the platypus down as they all walked off to the kitchen to eat. Normally, Perry would have tried to follow the family, loving the scraps they’d drop on the floor as they ate. Perry could no longer think of food however, his mind racing as he paced, hoping that nothing would happen to cause him to be relocated.

The rest of the night went off without a hitch, Linda and Lawrence telling the other two stories from when Ferb was younger, Vanessa countering with stories of her own. Perry was just glad that there wasn’t any notice from Monogram, calling either him or Vanessa about the situation. The night was almost over, and once Ferb and Vanessa were gone, he could relax again.

“Well Mum, it is getting late...” Ferb yawned with a stretch.

“Yes, yes it is. But too late for you two to drive anywhere! We’ve still got some of your old clothes here Ferb, which I’m sure Vanessa won’t mind borrowing, you two should just stay here for the night!” Linda replied.

“Your mother’s right... Much too dangerous for you two to be driving at this time of night.”

Ferb, not sure what to say, let Vanessa speak instead. “I mean... I wouldn’t mind spending a night in your childhood home! What’d ya say Ferb?” Ferb nodded, agreeing with her.

Perry on the other hand, heard everything and did all he could to keep his jaw from dropping. This was not good. And his worries got even worse. Hopping off his spot on the couch, he just nonchalantly skittered off to his bed in a different room.

“Perry’s right...” Vanessa yawned. “I think it’s time all of us got some sleep!”

And with that, the Flynn-Fletchers all agreed, everyone heading to their respective bedrooms.

“Please, don’t judge.” Ferb warned before he opened the door to his and Phineas’ old room.

“Oh come on Ferb, I doubt it’s that bad. My room was probably worse when I was that age...”

“I did warn you...” Ferb opened the door, revealing the SS Phineas, Phineas’ old bed, and his more modern purple one.

Vanessa took the room in, and couldn’t help but hold back a smile as she walked in. It was almost like there was an invisible line dividing the room in half. The two had such different tastes. Ferb’s side obviously British, and Phineas’ full of inventions to build. The one thing both had in common, were pictures of the two and their friends as teens. “You guys were so adorable!” Vanessa squealed, walking up to one. The whole gang was there, in the boys’ backyard, bright smiles on their faces.

Ferb however, blushed in comparison to Vanessa’s excitement and let out a sigh. He knew this was bound to happen. Before his embarrassment could get any worse, a knock on the bedroom door broke through the moment.

The door was already half open, so Linda took this as an opportunity to come in the room. “Sorry for barging in kids, but I brought you some fresh sheets Vanessa, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to use Phineas’ usual ones.” She stripped the bed, and helped Vanessa put the clean sheets on.

Vanessa thanked Linda, and Linda just smiled. “You’re always welcome Vanessa. Now don’t get into any funny business tonight alright?” She said with a wink and a laugh as she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Ferb on the other hand, groaned. He couldn’t imagine ever doing anything like that with his parents in the same house, much less in his old childhood bedroom.

Vanessa just smiled, shaking her head as she went to open the closet. “So Ferbs, which of these clothes are yours?”

Ferb just walked over, trying to hide the grin that always appeared on his face whenever his girlfriend called him by his full name. He reached in to the section he knew well as his own, and grabbed out what definitely would have been an oversized T-shirt on Vanessa and handed it to her. It was plain grey, no extravagant designs, or any designs at all really. It was simple, like Ferb.

“I think you’ll look best in this one.” He smirked with a wink.

“If you say so...” Vanessa grinned as she started stripping out of her normal clothes and into the shirt she was given. He handed her some sweats to go with it, so she wouldn’t have to walk around the house in just the shirt, even though he preferred her in much less.

It didn’t take long for the two to get ready for bed, and before they knew it, they were both under the covers and drifting off to sleep. Of course, it also didn’t take that long for Vanessa to wake up again either. Looking over at the clock on Phineas’ bedside table, she saw the light that shone in her eyes reading 2:00 am. She groaned to herself and rolled over, hoping to get back to sleep.

After tossing and turning, she realized her body had other plans. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to chug that glass of water before bed. Vanessa grunted, getting up and quietly walked out of the door and into the bathroom, annoyed that her body had to ruin her sleep.

Getting to the bathroom was easy, and she was quiet enough, though of course, the door just had to squeak as she shut it. Vanessa paused for a moment, and after not hearing anything, she continued on to her business. She washed her hands and opened the door, expecting a clear shot back to the bedroom.

Sadly, that was not the case. As she opened the door, there in the hallway, illuminated by the bathroom’s light, was Perry. Perry the platypus. “Perry?!” He was in his normal platypus stance, but seeing it was indeed her, he jumped into action, slapping his fedora on and making a silence motion to his lips. Perry pointed towards the stairwell, and Vanessa took it as a sign that she was to follow Perry down the stairs.

Vanessa did as was told, and soon ended up outside. Once they were far enough from the house Perry started chittering at her, his arms flailing wildly, clearly freaking out over the situation. Vanessa was quick to cut him off.

“Don’t you start with me Perry!” Vanessa all but shouted at him. “How was I supposed to know that my boyfriend’s pet platypus was also my dad’s nemesis?!”

Perry just gave her a look, one that clearly screamed ‘How could you not know’.

"Listen. Ferb mentioned having a pet platypus, he never mentioned a name though, or what you looked like!" Vanessa sighed, running a hand through her hair. This was too much stress for her.

Perry retaliated with more chittering, still flailing his arms as he spoke, a look of worry on his face. He couldn't exactly trust Vanessa, what with her being his nemesis' daughter and all. She was never overtly evil, but it was always good to stay one step ahead, just in case.

"Perry. I promise I'm not gonna-"

Before either of them could say anything else however, a beeping noise came from one of Perry’s wrists. He pulled back the fur on his arm, revealing the communicator watch given to him by OWCA.

“Agent P.” Said a voice Vanessa knew all too well as Major Monogram’s. “We need both of you in the lair stat.” And before they knew it, a door opened on the tree they were stood by, and both of them ended up inside.

Perry, used to it, was able to maneuver through the tube system with ease. Vanessa on the other hand, was struggling a bit, seeing as how the tubes were definitely not built to hold someone like her.

Finally coming out on the other side, Vanessa looked around in shock seeing everything OWCA had given Perry. “Damn Perry, OWCA really treats you right huh?”

But before Perry could even respond, Major Monogram appeared on the screen before them. “Now I’m sure you both know why we’ve called you down here. Vanessa, you’ve discovered Perry’s secret identity and that’s not gonna fly. Sadly we’re going to have to wipe your memory Vanessa, and Perry, you’re going to have to be relocated. New family, new nemesis.“

Vanessa scowled and stomped her foot on the floor. “Absolutely not! No way. You are not touching my memory.“

Monogram frowned. “I’m sorry Vanessa, but it has to be done. We have to protect this organization. This is the only way.“

“Listen, just… Hear me out OK?“ Vanessa sighed. “I love Ferb. Like a lot. And I know it would break his heart if he never got to see Perry again. Phineas too. And if I’m honest, I also really care about Perry. It would be weird not seeing around my dad’s place all the time.”

“ go on…“ Monogram said, listening intently to what Vanessa had to say.

“I know I dated your son, and even though I broke up with him, that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. I wouldn’t want to break my boyfriend’s heart, nor would I want to break my dad’s or my own. I promise I can keep a secret. Heck, I’ve known about OWCA for years now and I’ve never told anyone, why would it be any different now? Just trust me.”

Perry's heart warmed at hearing Vanessa‘s words, and he had to hold back tears hearing about all the people who cared about him.

“And what if we can’t trust you?“ Monogram said. “Then what do we do?“

“Then you can erase my mind and the mind of everyone involved. You can even relocate Perry.“ Perry was a little worried at that thought, but his worries eased as Vanessa continued. “But that’s not going to happen. I promise.“

“Well you do make a passionate argument…“ Monogram sighed, pondering for a moment over what he should do. “All right, we’ll let it slide for now. But if you ever so much as think about breaking this promise we will find you and we will wipe your memory.“

“Thank you Monogram, I won’t let you down.” Vanessa smiled as Perry chittered, tipping his fedora to Monogram on the screen, thanking him as well.

“Now, both of you head back to the house before anyone suspects anything. Monogram out.“ The screen faded to black as Monogram’s image on the screen disappeared.

The two of them were sucked back up the tube system and we’re out by the tree again just as quickly as they came in. Perry and Vanessa walked back towards the house, Vanessa breaking the silence.

“Do you know Perry, I really did mean all those things I said back there. You’re special. Not just to OWCA, to Ferb, and to Phineas too. You’re also special to me, and especially to my dad. Anytime he comes up with a new scheme, he always goes on and on about how he can’t wait to see how you’ll try to file his scheme this time. It’s actually kind of cute. But I also know that it would break his heart if he never got to see you again. So I did what I had to do. I’m just glad Monogram was willing to listen.“

Perry smiled, clearly thanking Vanessa as he went in and hugged her as best as he could. She leaned down, reciprocating the hug. “Huh. You give pretty good hugs Perry. For a platypus that is.“ Vanessa laughed as they finally approached the house.

Vanessa opened the door, letting Perry in first before shutting it behind her. Perry way to good night to her as she walked past letting him get settled into his own bed. Walking back upstairs, Vanessa was quiet, making sure not to wake up Linda or Lawrence, and especially not Ferb. When she opened the door to the room she and Ferb were sharing, she was pleased to find Ferb still fast asleep, as if he hadn’t moved at all while she was gone. She climbed back into bed, falling back asleep worry free knowing that Monogram was letting her live with the secret.

Hours passed, and the sun began streaming in through the windows of Phineas and Ferb‘s room, directly onto Vanessa‘s face, waking her up. Moving to rub her eyes, she felt a weight on her chest, and looked only to find Perry fast asleep. Vanessa smiled, giving him a few soft pets while trying not to wake him up.

And almost like he was on a timer, Ferb seem to wake up at the same time. He rolled over, only to see his girlfriend giving Perry lots of TLC. “You know,“ Ferb said, alerting Vanessa that he was now awake. “I could get used to this.“

Vanessa smiled, looking over at Ferb. “You know what? I think I can too.“

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this, if you did, please let me know, I always appreciate it! And if you didn't, please let me know what I can do better, I'm always looking to improve with my work! Thanks again for reading <3


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